Back again

Back to blogging, or so it may seem. I have come to a point where I am almost completely satisfied with my personal life. I ahve this great husband and two amazing kids and the most adorable little sister inlaw. In the past year I have made some pretty amazing and lucky discoveries. A twenty four year old cousin I never knew existed, found on facebook, and I got to be the person to introduce her to her father for the first time. I have gotten to dee two babies be born into this world, a beautiful treat. I particapated and planned a wedding for my wonderful niece. And more recently discovered a sister I didn't know I had.

I find myself regretting not taking these moments and savoring them. I rushed through to fast, just trying to get them over with. Not appreciating how unique and great they were, and that I was lucky enough to be a part of.

Last night my (not so) baby boy lost his first baby tooth. I was proud and excited and called everyone we knew that would be awake to tell them the news. We put it in an envelope addressed to the tooth fairy, just in case she wasn't sure if it was for her. As layed on Greg's chest I suddenly felt a gush of melencholy. Noah is growing up so fast. Just since May we have had preschool graduation, Kindergarten registration, baseball, hockey, loss of first tooth, and so many more. I feel like I lossed the last five years.

It is said that when looking back on our lives it isn't the cleanliness of the home or the value of posessions that is regretted, but moments lossed with loved ones and children. Not taking the time to appreciate the now. While the last five, seven, ten years were happening, I thought I was truley enjoying each moment, but looking back I have realized just how much time was lost due to self loathing and complaining and just not holding on to each individual moment.

Is there time to make up for it now? Can we get those missing pieces of ourselves back? I'm not sure. I am not even sure how to really take in a memory, how to hold onto it! What I do know is that, I am going to start taking more time out for hugs, and kisses. I am going to turn the T.V. off and the radio up and dance more often. I want to go outside on all of the nice days, even if the house is a mess. I'm going to take my time and look around. I am going to capture every moment I can. I will take more photos, and smile and laugh more. I want to really LIVE. I want to do the things I always wanted to do. I want to look back on my life and have very few regrets. I want to be able to tell stories and give great advice to my grandkids, because I did it that way, not because the way I lived didn't work! I have never been so excited!