Saturday, September 20, 2008

Parenting

Parenting... There are so many different types of parents, and ways of parenting. Which is the right way? I like to think that my way is the right way, but what parent doesn't. When does parenting start? In theory it would be nice to think that it started the moment of conception, however, it really doesn't, because you don't even know. So let's go ahead and say it starts the moment you find out you are going to bring a child into the world. What's the next step? After the initial shock, the first step should be to do whatever it takes to make sure this baby is going to be healthy. That means, call the doctor, quit smoking, take the vitamins, go to your appointments... Stop being selfish and realize that you are now in charge of a new life. Not just any life, but a life that you created. A helpless life that you created. By accepting this huge realty you then accept the fact that your life should no longer be about you, but about this new life. I think that what you are willing to give up and do while pregnant reflects hugely on the type of parent you are going to be... that is not to say that people don't change later, but I think that for the most part people don't. If you still smoke a pack of cigarettes a day regardless to how badly it will effect your child, pretty much shows that you are still incredibly selfish. Which is okay. It's okay to be selfish, I suppose that is just another type of parenting.
Then the baby comes and your entire world changes, or at least should. All of sudden you are responsible for another life. There is no ignoring this problem. Now some parents get lucky and get a lot of help, but most parents are on their own. Which can be so trying. I don't know about everyone in the world, but from my own experiences the newborn phase is the worst. Not necessarily the hardest. Just the worst. Sleep deprived, hungry, scared, confused. No matter how smart you are or thought you were, you suddenly feel clueless. You are taking care of a complete stranger and it is totally natural to not like this person sometimes but due to so many "I was in love instantly" stories, you begin to feel guilty, because you don't adore your crying, hungry, pooping baby all of the time. It is so hard to constantly care for something that absolutely needs you. I mean make no o mistake. This tiny little person, would not make it a day without. It should make you feel proud and important, but it should also make you scared, because the fear is what is going to keep you from screwing it up.
Then there is the toddler age. But his time you are really getting to know your baby. You love her. He or she has a personality, and are starting to get into things. So the question arises again. What kind of parent do I want to be? There's tough love, There's spoiling, how do I discipline. I mean there are so many questions. There are a few certainties, that regardless of the child or the parent, there are some things: love, support, strength, guidance, discipline, hugs, kisses for boo-boos, structure, beliefs, morals. It's simple. The best way to be a parent, I believe, is too never think that you are the best. To give them love, but always know that there is room for improvement. Always try your hardest. I think that if you do that and again make sure that each child knows they are special and that you love them, then no matter what kind of parent you are, it should be okay! Thanks again for letting me express my opinion in lovely manner I always do!