Who am I?

Of course, this will be an introduction post, probably more formal then funny.. Sorry! I am a stay at home mom (I use the term"stay at home" term very loosely) to two amazing children! They are absolutely the best things that have ever happened to me. They bring more joy and love to my life than I ever thought possible! I am lucky enough to have a wonderful husband who works extra hard to provide us with what we need, and most of the time the things we want, while I get to spend lots of time with the kiddos... Of course as I write this I realize you are thinking. Get real, isn't nice that her life is so great.. Well it's not. I just want to make sure that I express my grattitude before getting too honest.

Earlier today while talking to an old friend on the phone, while unballing crusty sucks in front of the washing machine, I was asked if I was happy with my life... That question took me back a second, I had to think about it. I mean have I real thoguht about if m life actually made me happy? I know it makes me busy, stressed, loved, concerned, angry, sad, and so many other things, but happy? I wouldn't change it for anything... I have so many great things... but happy... After lots of grunting a somewhat answer, I stopped, and realized that yes, I am happy in my life.. Thank God!

As stated earlier, at least I think I stated it, my children are my life! Sweet Face is 5 years old. He has a speech/language disorder. He is in Kindergarten with seven other kids with the same problem. Some stemming from Autism, or Mr but all the same disorder. Sweet Face as of today, only has the diagnosis of Speech/ language disorder. We searched for years for more answers and that's all we ever end up with. But don't worry we (and by we, I mean me) are still searching! But dumb he is not. This disorder doesn't get in his way that much. Sweet face is so smart that he has taught himself a special way to learn things that completely works for him! Upon meeting him, the language disorder doesn't even seem like an issue, because he is the kindest, most loveing child in the world. He is generous and empathetic. Sometimes I think he can actually feel others emotions. He super cool, and loads of fun. He tells great stories, and when he smiles his eyes have a crazy sparkle, that I am sure could make anyone smile. His amazingness is infectious!

Now Peanut on the other hand, is the smartest kid I have EVER seen, and I have aided in raising many a child! She is scarey smart. She is not far from outsmarting me, for sure, and has already outsmarted her dad, Not As Good! But on top of being crazy smart, she beaustiful, silly, and really funny,. She has an amazing sense of humor! But she is a diva, and lots of times other kids don't want to play with her, but she is more sensiitive than she gets credit for. She is loving, and has one of the biggest hearts... She falls in second only to her Aunt, my sister Bear! Hopefully, it doesn't get her in trouble!

I have many great people in my life, but more people who bring too much drama, but yes, I am happy about my life. And I truly believe that without God, I would have nothing! So as an introduction of myslef, I didn't really give you anything, but a description of my life, but I think after a few more entries, it will become very clear who I am , or atleast the kind of person I am!

I really hope reading this is as enjoyable as writing it will be! Thanks so much for taking a little time to start!

Back again

Back to blogging, or so it may seem. I have come to a point where I am almost completely satisfied with my personal life. I ahve this great husband and two amazing kids and the most adorable little sister inlaw. In the past year I have made some pretty amazing and lucky discoveries. A twenty four year old cousin I never knew existed, found on facebook, and I got to be the person to introduce her to her father for the first time. I have gotten to dee two babies be born into this world, a beautiful treat. I particapated and planned a wedding for my wonderful niece. And more recently discovered a sister I didn't know I had.

I find myself regretting not taking these moments and savoring them. I rushed through to fast, just trying to get them over with. Not appreciating how unique and great they were, and that I was lucky enough to be a part of.

Last night my (not so) baby boy lost his first baby tooth. I was proud and excited and called everyone we knew that would be awake to tell them the news. We put it in an envelope addressed to the tooth fairy, just in case she wasn't sure if it was for her. As layed on Greg's chest I suddenly felt a gush of melencholy. Noah is growing up so fast. Just since May we have had preschool graduation, Kindergarten registration, baseball, hockey, loss of first tooth, and so many more. I feel like I lossed the last five years.

It is said that when looking back on our lives it isn't the cleanliness of the home or the value of posessions that is regretted, but moments lossed with loved ones and children. Not taking the time to appreciate the now. While the last five, seven, ten years were happening, I thought I was truley enjoying each moment, but looking back I have realized just how much time was lost due to self loathing and complaining and just not holding on to each individual moment.

Is there time to make up for it now? Can we get those missing pieces of ourselves back? I'm not sure. I am not even sure how to really take in a memory, how to hold onto it! What I do know is that, I am going to start taking more time out for hugs, and kisses. I am going to turn the T.V. off and the radio up and dance more often. I want to go outside on all of the nice days, even if the house is a mess. I'm going to take my time and look around. I am going to capture every moment I can. I will take more photos, and smile and laugh more. I want to really LIVE. I want to do the things I always wanted to do. I want to look back on my life and have very few regrets. I want to be able to tell stories and give great advice to my grandkids, because I did it that way, not because the way I lived didn't work! I have never been so excited!