GREG

Saturday, January 3, 2004 my good friend, Amy, and I went to Mardis Gras. A bar that was on Main Street. After having quite a few drinks, Jason Foster and some kid I went to school with, walked up the stairs. Feeling pretty good I ran up to Foster and hugged him, and the boy said, "What no hug for me?" It was the beginning of a very interesting relationship.
Under false identification, our first date was the next day. Thinking that this guy's name was Joe Toner, I told my mom and my friends, about the date I had with this pretty cute guy. After a lot of arguing, that his name was not Joe, I called and got his voice mail... His name was Greg. We went n our date and barely talked.... Well he barely talked, I never stopped.
When he went to drop me off, he started to talk a little more, so I invited him into our house. I mean hey, it was January, and rather chilly in the car. So we watched Eddie and the Cruisers and Greg sat on the complete opposite of the couch. Not thinking he was interested I told him he needed to leave so that I could go to bed. I walked him to the door and he turned around and gave me the most amazing kiss that literally knocked me off my feet. With a dumb grin on my face, I watched him walk to his car thinking, "I am going to spend the rest of my life with him." And went to bed.
Little did I know that I actually would. The next six months were a blurr of late nights, long days, and amazing and quick love. After three months we were planning a wedding and looking for a place to live. We went on trips, I introduced him to my family. It moved very fast. Thenc during one of my obsessive pregnancy testing, I got a positive result.
Heart pounding and mind whirling I called Greg into the bathroom where i handed him the plus sign on a peed stick. Disbelief and then a slow grin crossed his face. Not knowing how I yet felt, I punched him, and immediately ran outside.
The next nine months were.... emotional. Greg and I immediately moved into together and tried to be adults. Neither one of us actually knowing what it meant to live on our own. We soon realized that we barely knew eachother, and that we had completely different ideas of what living and parenting should be like, but we loved eachother. Things were hard, there was no questioning that. We struggled to stay together, to stat afloat.
And then he came. Beautiful Noah Francis Toner. The love of my life, and Greg knew it. Greg then spent the next two years competing with Noah for my attention and affection, and he always lost. We fought passionately. We loved even more. We broke up and made up too frequently. And little by little we got better at being responsible, better at being parents, and better at fighting.
So one day out of the blue, we decided to get married. Three months,and a wedding cancellation later, we tied the knot. The wedding was beautiful. Full of tears. Greg was the first to cry and it was as magical as every girl dreams of. The reception was fun and I couldn't keep my eyes, arms, and lips off of my husband. It was amazing.
Shortly after, we got pregnant again. Things were going well and we felt like we were on top of the world. Then Greg had a "meltdown" He wasn't sure that was life he wanted to live. I'm sure everyone feels that wat from time to time, but Greg took it to extremes. I thought our marriage was truly over. I figured out ways to take care of my family on my own, to provide the best life I could, while trying to understand how Greg could change his mind. Oddly enough I did understand. We sort of got shoved into this life, and its scarey to have to take care of so many lives. I understood more than he thought I did.
Then one day Greg remembered why he wanted that life. Why he wanted to be a dad and a husband. Though I was in disbelief, I owed it to him, to my children and to God, to at least try to work things out. After all I made a commitment. So Greg spent a month trying to prove himself to me and to Noah. I still wasn't being a fool, and didn't trust him completely. I wasn't sure that there was anything left of our marriage to save.
Then she came. Mylee Sharon Toner. Our angel. The minute she was born, she completed our family. Greg's been a changed man ever since, and though he still fights for my attention at times, I try hard to make him feel important too. Everyday I am thankful for all of the second chances we have gotten. All of the love we feel. Our beautiful children who have helped to keep us together, who have given us reason to change. I am thankful for an amazing husband who tries hard to keep us happy, and is always willing to change.
Today I can't keep my eyes off of him. I stare at him while he sleeps. eats. watches T.V. I think he's beautifully amazing. I have never felt the way I do about Greg. For the first time in a long time, I know we can make it. I know that God had a plan for us, and we work our asses off trying to follow that plan. He amazes me, in every way. I can't wait to grow old with him. To spoil our grand children.
Don't get me wrong, we have lots of fights, but we are really better now. Things aren't always easy, and we struggle to be nice. We are both too sarcastic, too emotional, and take things too personally. But there are no doubts that we have a lot of love. I'm glad I picked Greg, or God picked Greg for me. I am glad we got pregnant and married and pregnant again. I am glad that we have broken up, and made up, and hated and loved. I have no regrets about our relationship, because it is amazing. Our love is amazing. It might not be romantic enough for a great love story, but its ours.